The Leigh and Briana Cooking Show

dadsaretheoriginalhipster: Your dad judged people before you...

Thu, 16 Jun 2011 14:39:00 -0400

Your dad judged people before you did and he can point out everything wrong with you to prove it. Casting more judgment than Judy and picking out character flaws like a social plastic surgeon, your dad made the vocal call outs that destroyed top 40 trend followers. He was the non-constructive critiquing megaphone to the world that expressed his opinions from a coffee shop soapbox. His rants can still be felt today in clubs where inspired comedians take cues from the master while berating audience members for their actions and attire.

So hipsters, when you’re throwing looks of “I can’t believe that fashion hack douche wander is wearing relaxed fit Levi’s” while smoking an American Spirit and commenting on how inhaling anything other than natural tobacco is bad for you, remember this…

Your dad is judging you right now because in your attempt to be the most original creation in the universe you’ve become the one thing you’ve been revolting against for years, him.

Thanks to cookingshow of the tumblrverse for today’s photo submission.

I have the best dad. Just in time for Father’s Day.

b. ada

Photo

Thu, 16 Jun 2011 14:34:36 -0400

SOUNDTRACK TO A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN tell me again to lose weight....

Mon, 13 Jun 2011 14:11:04 -0400

SOUNDTRACK TO A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN

tell me again to lose weight. i dare you. let’s go to sleep angry. i’ll lie there fuming for an hour before i get up to smoke and then curl up on the couch. tell me again that i’m just crazy, i’ll start to believe it. i could tell you to look for work, but i won’t. it’s okay, i’ll pick up the groceries, i’ll make dinner, i’ll deal with being yelled at for not turning on the fan on a hot drunken night, i’ll try to pretend that the things that hurt me never did while you sit in front of the tv and i bite my tongue so that we don’t have to scream any more than we already do. yeah, i’ll go for drinks because it’s friday and i’ll think we’re good until we pass the point of not fighting anymore and storm home silently and steaming. but you know, i’m just crazy. i make it all up, it’s in my head and you’re just AOK and we could be AOK if i weren’t a lunatic. it’s alright, the couch is yours by day and mine by night.

Photo

Fri, 10 Jun 2011 15:09:25 -0400

SOUNDTRACK TO A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN and i was staring at myself in...

Fri, 10 Jun 2011 09:04:00 -0400

SOUNDTRACK TO A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN

and i was staring at myself in the mirror, job is a fart, life is a fart, who am i? this is the question. the recently deceased poly styrene is screeching in my ears, saxophones goin’ and the guitar makes me feel like my grandmother’s synchronized swimming team is doing a special performance. i’m in the middle and they’ve got their gorgeous gorgeous smiles plastered on as they cut me down with chain saws all coordinated and shit. sorry i’m a disappointment, should’ve at least participated in intramurals but my hand eye coordination sucks and i run like a gimpy tyrannosaur.

About the image: My wonderfully talented friend Taj took my vision and made it a reality. THE BRAINCHILD OF TWO INCREDIBLY DISTURBED FUCKOS.

Thank you, and remember: XANAX IS A FUCKING LIE!

-b. ada

SOUNDTRACK TO A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN Hey guys. As I was walking...

Wed, 08 Jun 2011 13:30:00 -0400

SOUNDTRACK TO A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN

Hey guys. As I was walking home from work, just having my afternoon nervous breakdown…when all of a sudden the dramatic sound of Abba’s NUMBAH ONE hit started pouring through my busted headphones.

As sweat dripped down my legs and tears streamed from my eyes and down my acne eaten face, I thought “This is it, things can’t get any worse”. And then came the strangely epic/tragic pounding of the piano keys. I looked at the children happily running down Vanderbilt, I observed the birds flitting from tree to tree. And I fucking broke. I broke to the warbling of Sweden’s most color coordinated disco group of the 1970’s.

Welcome to that series of blog posts where I choose songs for you to completely lose your mind to.

Sit back, relax, and tear your hair out for a while as you stare blankly at a wall.

Besos!

b. ada

bradfm: THIS FRIDAY: June 10th @ 8PM, Idle Hands Bar in...

Wed, 08 Jun 2011 10:46:11 -0400

bradfm:

THIS FRIDAY: June 10th @ 8PM, Idle Hands Bar in Manhattan — Come chill with Team Virb!

Festivities may include: High fives, handshakes, conversation, mustaches, plaid, beer, bourbon (and maybe the occasional hug). We hope you’ll swing by and say hello.

Are you a fan of the minor details? See the flyer in all its glory, here.

Damn you, punk! I would have loved to join you! LAST MINUTE IS BAD.

disgusting

Mon, 06 Jun 2011 13:24:33 -0400

a pet peeve of mine

raisins in chicken salad

act right, dear fuckos

natalieroper: Uni-boob.

Thu, 02 Jun 2011 14:07:12 -0400

natalieroper:

Uni-boob.

fantastique

Thu, 02 Jun 2011 12:55:10 -0400

obviouslytma:

woops, 3-day weekends make for really forgetful blog situations. here’s a picture (that’s not mine) to remind you that i’m still here. see ya in a day or two.

robert frank
sick of goodbyes, 1978

i want you to want me

Wed, 01 Jun 2011 19:22:03 -0400

i want you to want me

dead waterbug haiku

Wed, 01 Jun 2011 19:16:56 -0400

while cleaning my room,

dry and curled up. i guess

i had to do this.

i find this amusing

Wed, 01 Jun 2011 12:20:50 -0400

i find this amusing

thejaneenshow: Clearly the blind leading the blind… That’s not...

Wed, 01 Jun 2011 12:10:06 -0400

thejaneenshow:

Clearly the blind leading the blind…

That’s not a fucking dog, you morons.

allergies haiku

Wed, 01 Jun 2011 11:44:08 -0400

i can hear my lungs

sneezes endanger bladder

why are trees bitches?

no action haiku

Wed, 01 Jun 2011 11:24:00 -0400

where the men be at

we’re walking through the desert

elvis costello

hunger haiku

Wed, 01 Jun 2011 11:23:00 -0400

perusing photos

i can taste the savory

it’s stomach torture

apartment haiku

Wed, 01 Jun 2011 11:22:19 -0400

of couches we’ve two

two is too many for us

life is really hard

itsjaxx: Spring Greens Risotto with Jumbo Prawns an easy,...

Wed, 01 Jun 2011 11:17:55 -0400

itsjaxx:

Spring Greens Risotto with Jumbo Prawns

an easy, nutritious weeknight meal that could be easily doubled, tripled, or quadrupled to impress guests at any dinner party.

Key ingredients: Aborio rice, fresh jumbo prawns, leeks, sweet peas, asparagus, fresh parsley, lemon zest, pecorino romano, mascarpone.

STOP MAKING ME HUNGRY!

Photo

Thu, 28 Apr 2011 14:55:44 -0400